


Social Reciprocity

by sinemoras09



Series: J-19 Omega-12 [4]
Category: Rick and Morty
Genre: Drabble Collection, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-31
Updated: 2020-01-31
Packaged: 2021-02-28 06:42:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 2,387
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22809595
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sinemoras09/pseuds/sinemoras09
Summary: Three Ricks sit in a coffee shop. Doofus Rick, Doofus Rick's alternate, and C-137 Rick. AU. Gen. Collection of drabbles. Takes place in the same universe asAlternate, where an alternate Doofus Rick marries Diane.
Relationships: Rick Sanchez & Doofus Rick
Series: J-19 Omega-12 [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1618060
Comments: 9
Kudos: 14





	1. Three Ricks

Two Doofus Ricks sit in the middle of a coffee shop. They look exactly alike except for the small yellow ring around one Doofus Rick's finger. It gleams in the light as he gestures.

J-19-Zeta-7 bends forward, looking at J-19-Omega-12's ring. "Do you want to see?" Omega-12 asks. Zeta-7 flushes, about to apologize for staring, when Omega-12 smiles kindly and slips off the ring. "There's an inscription inside the band," Omega-12 says. J-19 takes the ring and holds it inside.

"I-is that your anniversary?" J-19 asks. He sees the small, delicate numbers engraved on the inside of the band.

"Yeah! Diane suggested it, so I wouldn't forget."

J-19 grins and hands the ring back to him.

A barista calls out, "order for Rick!" and Omega-12 rises apologetically: unlike Omega-12, Zeta-7 told the barista to use "Ricardo" on the cup - when they ordered, they both froze when the barista asked them what names to use, when J-19 blurted out, "Ricardo." ("Wait, a-a-are you sure?" Omega-12 said. "Y-you can use Rick, I can use Ricardo."

"I-I mean, it's your universe," J-19 said. "Technically you're the Rick over here.")

A couple grad students walk into the shop as Omega-12 sits down. "Oh my god, Dr. Sanchez! I didn't know you have a twin!" she says. Omega-12 smiles.

"H-hi, Ruby! Y-yeah. This is my counterpart...he-he's also Dr. Sanchez."

"Hello," J-19 says, smiling. The grad students smile and shake his hand.

"Oh my god, Dr. Sanchez, this is gonna sound totally weird, but...can we take a picture?" one of the grad students says. "We didn't know you guys were twins!"

"Sure," Omega-12 says, and he and J-19 smile as they take their picture.

"Can you, can you send it to me?" Omega-12 says, and the grad student nods, grinning, and texts it to his phone.

"Wow," Omega-12 says. J-19 peers over his shoulder.

Twin Doofus Ricks, smiling over cups of coffee - it's actually not bad a picture.

"You know, I know them both i-i-in my universe," J-19 says, as the grad students leave. "Actually, in my universe, they started dating."

"Really?" Omega-12 says. "Gosh, my colleagues and I always suspected...I-I-I wonder if my grad students are dating too."

They talk. Besides the wedding ring, there are other slight differences: Zeta-7 drinks his coffee black, while Omega-12 opts for a latte amped up with extra sugar packets; Omega-12's wallet is filled with pictures of his family while Zeta-7's wallet is empty.

"So, so, so how did you end up with Diane?" Zeta-7 says.

"Oh," Omega-12 says, smiling. "She asked me."

"Really?"

"Yeah! I-I-I was so surprised. She asked me for a cup of coffee a-a-and we went out on a date."

"Wow, that's so interesting! My Diane never talked to me, and I-I-I was too nervous to talk to her."

They hold their cups, mirror images of each other except for the wedding band on one Doofus Rick's hand.

"Actually," Omega-12 says, quietly. "Sometimes, I-I get kind of lonely." J-19 lifts his eyes.

Omega-12's hands take the shape of his coffee cup. His eyes grow distant and hazy. "Losing Diane was the worst thing in my entire life," Omega-12 says. "I wish she weren't the one who died. I wish it had been me."

"I'm sorry," J-19 says, but Omega-12 shakes his head.

"As much as it hurts now, I was lucky enough to be with her. I-I can't imagine what my life would be like, you know, i-if I'd never been with her."

They look at their cups, silently.

"Jesus," someone says, and the two Doofus Ricks look up. C-137 Rick is standing behind them. "What the fuck, this is like the most depressing scene in the coffee shop. W-w-w-what do you two dipshits have to cry for? Did someone shit in your latte?"

"Hi Rick," Zeta-7 says, smiling. Omega-12 rises.

"Hi. I-I'm Rick J-19-Omega-12. Uh, Widowed Doofus Rick."

"C-137. Terrorist Rick."

"I really wish you wouldn't call us Doofus Rick," Zeta-7 says frowning, as Omega-12 and C-137 shake hands.

"Did you, did you order a coffee yet?" Omega-12 asks. He sits back down as C-137 takes a chair. C-137 shakes his head.

"Eh, I got my own shit," C-137 says, and he opens his flask and takes a swig.

*****

"So yeah. Murdered a few people, blew up some shit, joined the intergalactic resistance...eventually I fuckin' slowed down, you know, did my own shit. Started selling weapons and technology a-a-and whatever hard-to-get-to shit for money."

"Wow," Omega-12 says, while Zeta-7 nods, listening. "So then, did you bring Diane?" Omega-12 asks.

"What?" C-137 says.

"Diane," Omega-12 repeats. "Y-you did all that stuff, w-w-what happened with your Diane?"

"Oh." C-137 takes his coffee and pours in the contents of his flask. "Divorced."

Omega-12 leans forward. "Really?"

"Yeah. It was a fuckin' waste. It's embarrassing to think I _urrp_ bought into that bullshit in the first place."

"Diane was the most wonderful thing in my life, h-h-how could you feel that way?" Omega-12 says. C-137 leans forward.

"Jesus, are you kidding me? I thought you were a genius," C-137 says. "It's just pheromones and chemical reactions and shit."

"Are all regular Ricks like this?" Omega-12 asks Zeta-7. C-137 sighs tragically.


	2. Omega-12 Morty

Eric Stoltz Mask Morty had been meeting with Omega-12 Morty regularly. Like Eric Stoltz Mask Morty, Omega-12 Morty didn't go off-world that much and barely went on any adventures. Unlike Eric Stoltz Mask Morty, however, Omega-12 Mask Morty was blissfully unaware of how much he was missing out, not until Eric Stoltz Mask Morty started regaling him with Terrorist Morty's adventures.

"Can we meet them?" Omega-12 Morty said. Omega-12 glanced back.

"Y-y-you want to meet with a regular Rick?"

"I-I want to meet a regular Morty."

"I dunno," Omega-12 said, scratching his head. "The other Ricks aren't very good people, Morty. I-I never got along with anyone on the Citadel."

"This Rick and Morty aren't part of the Citadel either!"

"Terrorist Morty?" Zeta-7 echoed, when Omega-12 asked him. "Y-yeah. His Rick actually trains him."

"Really?!" Omega-12 Morty's eyes grew wide with admiration. Zeta-7 shifted uncomfortably.

"I-I mean, he does it out of necessity, Omega-12 Morty. H-he's not part of the Citadel, they travel the universe alone."

Now the three Ricks sit at the coffee shop, while their Mortys do god-knows-what in Omega-12's backyard.

"Um." Terrorist Morty scratches his head. "What do you...what do you guys wanna do?" Eric Stoltz Mask Morty leans forward.

"Do you know hand-to-hand combat? Can, can, can you let us shoot some weapons? OOH. How 'bout, how 'bout going to your Grandpa's garage?"

"What? No, I'm not going into Rick's garage," Terrorist Morty says. Eric Stoltz Mask Morty whacks Omega-12 Morty on the arm.

"Hey man. W-w-we need to come up with a nickname for you," Eric Stoltz Mask Morty says.

"I mean, Terrorist Morty already has a nickname, w-w-why can't I just be Morty?" Omega-12 Morty says.

"Let's compare characteristics," Eric Stoltz Mask Morty says. "Mine's pretty obvious, so ya know, we're good with that. W-w-w-what about you guys? What hand do you use?"

They go down the list. As it turns out, Omega-12 Morty is an honor student at school. Terrorist Morty coughs.

"Honor student?!" Terrorist Morty stares at Omega-12 Morty like he has two heads.

"Y-yeah." Omega-12 Morty rubs his neck. "I-it's just a few AP classes, like AP physics and stuff. My Grandpa helps me with the math."

"Geez. Maybe we should call you Nerd Morty," Eric Stoltz Mask Morty says.

"Hey! I'm not a nerd! I-I'm dating Jessica, and she's, she's really popular with the other girls..."

"Wait, you're dating Jessica?!" Terrorist Morty says. Omega-12 Morty nods.

"Y-yeah. Wait. You guys aren't dating Jessica in your universes?"

"My Jessica doesn't know I exist!"

"Aw, geez," Omega-12 Morty says.


	3. Kitchen Conversation

Before the flu dance, across an infinite amount of timelines on the Central Finite Curve, Morty stood in kitchen and listened as his Dad tried to give him advice: "Try not to worry about it, Morty. You're a good kid, and there's not a premium on that right now, but you'll be getting girls sometime after Brad's out of shape."

"You're missing the point, Dad. I don't want girls. I want Jessica."

"Aw, well I remember feeling that way about a young lady called, 'your mom.' And that's not an urban diss, your mom was my Jessica. I remember the first time I met her, I thought--"

"I should get her pregnant and she'll have to marry me?" all the Ricks across the Central Finite Curve said. "I'm sorry, please proceed with your story about banging my daughter in high school. I'm not sure you want to take romantic advice from this guy, Morty. His marriage is hanging by a thread."

Shrimp Rick said it. Yellow-Shirt Rick said it. Even Fish Rick said it, the contempt bubbling out from his mouth and floating up around the pond. But in a universe far out on the Central Finite Curve in dimension J-19-Omega-12, that version of Doofus Rick opened the fridge and listened, and before chiming in,

"Your grandma was my Jessica, too!"


	4. Coffee

"Wait, you and your Diane fought?" Omega-12 seems shocked at the notion. C-137 nods.

"Yeah. Fuckin' all the time. What, you telling me you guys never had a fight?"

"I-I mean, we had our disagreements, you know, all couples do, but..." Omega-12 furrows his brow. "You told her you didn't love her?"

"Uh huh."

"And you just...went off and left her?"

C-137 swirls his coffee. "Yeah, so?"

Omega-12 looks horrified. J-19 looks back at Omega-12, then back at C-137 uneasily.

"Ha ha! I'm just messing with you! Yeah no, it was fucked up." C-137 takes a swig of his coffee, which by now is mostly vodka. "So, you're a fuckin' boy scout. What did you and your Diane ever fight about?"

"Oh. Um." He blinks, then takes a breath. "I'm ashamed I have to say this, but sometimes I-I stayed out late in the lab, you know, a-and she'd feel neglected. Or that I wouldn't spend time with her because I was too busy doing science." Omega-12 plays with his coffee cup, twirling it silently. "Sometimes, I-I'd be working so late, I wouldn't come home, I'd sleep in my office on a cot."

He falls silent, staring at his coffee cup.

"I took her for granted," Omega-12 says finally. He twists his wedding ring, quietly. "I don't know why she put up with me."

"That's because Dianes fundamentally had fuckin' low self-esteem," C-137 says.

"Um." Omega-12 rubs his forehead. "I-I realize you're talking about your Diane, Terrorist Rick, and all, but I-I don't like hearing you say stuff like that. I-I love my Diane. I'd give anything to have her back."

"Yo, you're quiet," C-137 says to J-19. J-19 starts.

"O-oh! Uh. I-I never dated Diane, so I don't really have anything to add."

C-137 throws his thumb toward him. "He's a fuckin' virgin."

J-19 starts, "Hey!"

"I mean, I tried to help him, but he fuckin' high-roaded me for paying a goddamn escort."

"I mean, I-I've been celibate since Diane died, so you and I are pretty much the same," Omega-12 says to J-19.

"Celibate?" C-137 raises his eyebrows. "Jesus. Seriously? Bro. Y-you know there's no 'The One,' okay, that's all mystical voodoo bullshit. Y-you're basically rounding up a .75 to 'good enough to get married.' Which, by the way, is also bullshit. Y-you can thank society or the wedding industrial complex o-or those douchebags who come up with hallmark holidays."

Omega-12 sighs. "I think I need another coffee."


	5. Coffee, part 2

In the coffee shop, the bell above the entrance jingles.

"Oh my god - you guys are triplets?!" someone says.

The three Ricks look up to see the grad students coming back into the coffee shop again.

"Sorry to interrupt," one of the grad students says. "I forgot my jacket - Dr. Sanchez, you're part of triplets?"

"The fuck are they?" C-137 says. Omega-12 smiles apologetically.

"Guys, this is, um, our other counterpart, Rick."

"That's so cool! I thought you were just twins."

C-137 leans back. "Yeah, they're mono _urrp_ -zygotic, I'm dizygotic. And you can see who lost the genetic fucking lottery," C-137 says.

"Are you a professor, too?" they ask.

"Seriously? I'm a fucking genius, okay. Not like these two dipshits. Only stupid people go to school," C-137 says. The grad students glance at each other.

"H-he's kidding," Omega-12 says. J-19 nods emphatically.

"Y-yeah. He...he's got kind of a gruff sense of humor."

"Yeah, 'mom' is super proud of those two," C-137 says. "Jesus, can you imagine if we were fucking triplets? I'd fucking kill myself in the fucking womb."

"You're not...triplets?" the grad students blink at them. J-19 and Omega-12 start to answer but C-137 cuts in.

"Nope. I'm an alternate version of your professor, from an alternate dimension in a different universe."

"Oh wow. Funny," the grad student says.


	6. Hang Out

"So, um," Morty shoots a portal. "This is, this is my grandpa's garage."

Summer walks in. She sees two Mortys and an Eric Stoltz Mask Morty walking out of a portal. 

"What the fuck," Summer says.

"Oh hey, Summer. This is, this is Eric Stoltz Mask Morty. And this is Nerd Morty," Morty says.

"Hey! I'm not Nerd Morty! I'm Morty J-19-Omega-12!" Omega-12 Morty says. Eric Stoltz Mask Morty grins.

"He's Jessica's Morty," Eric Stoltz Mask Morty says. Morty protests.

"Hey!"

Summer shakes her head. "O-kay. Morty, what the fuck is this? And where's Grandpa Rick? How is it you have his portal gun?"

"Oh, that's mine," Omega-12 Morty says. "My Grandpa doesn't use it that much. He, he let us borrow it."

Summer raises her eyebrows. "You have a Rick that let you 'borrow it'?"

"Oh. My Rick i-i-is a Doofus-type Rick. Uh. I-I didn't even know they classify them as Doofus Ricks. H-he's a J-19 Rick," Omega-12 Morty says.

"J-19s are mostly extinct except for Zeta-7 and him," Morty says.

"So what's grandpa doing?" Summer asks.

"He's, he's having coffee, you know, with the other J-19 Ricks."

"Why?" Summer says.

"Because your Morty is cool, okay, and I-I asked my Rick to hang out with Terrorist Rick," Eric Stoltz Mask Morty says. Summer raises her eyebrows.

"O-kay. Have fun with your terrorist shit, then."

"Oh we will," Eric Stoltz Mask Morty says. Summer furrows her brow.


End file.
